Valentines day
by ht4eva
Summary: A humor based story involving Valentines day! H/T. Rated T just in case. Chapter 5 is up! Please review! Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey all! This is just a prank day sort of story. Maybe with some H/T romance l8r! I don't own anyof the characters, so don't sue me!! And I know it's not valentines day!! So sue me!!

No wait! Don't!! I haven't got a penny in the world!! :)

Enjoy!

Eva

Chapter 1. Valentine pranks.

"All clear!" Foaly's voice says into my helmet. "Kelp!" I spit into my mouth piece, "What's your status?" "Approaching enemy territory," Says Trouble, "and can you cut the 'Kelp' stuff?" "Trouble" I say painfully. "This is serious!! If we get caught..." I don't finish the sentence, letting it trail off omunously. "We won't get caught Holly." Trouble replies. "Yeah," Says Ash Vein, "And even if we get caught, what can he do to us?" "Shut up!" I hiss. Don't they understand the DANGER?! "Whatever you say, sweetcheeks." Says Chix Verbil. Evidentely not. "Secure the location." I bark. I'm answered by syncronized groans. "Holly, relax!" Says Scott O'deal. I tune them out, and focus on the targeted area. Commander Roots office. "Number 5! Number 8! Stand guard!" I say. "The rest of you, follow me."

For once, they actually obey me. Perhaps struck by the sheer odasity of what we're doing. Armed with ribbons, red bows, pink hearts and lace doillies, we enter the office. I check my moonmeter, 32 minutes til Root shows up. I smile. "Okay men!" I say, "Do your work!!" We fall upon the office like sharks on their prey. In twenty minutes, the office looks like the inside of a boutique. "Alright everyone," I say. "Good job! I'm proud of you all! Now lets move out!" There's a rush for the door. "Foaly" I say, "Are the camras ready? Can you do this?" "Can a dwarf eat a dog in 27 seconds?" He asks, using his rhetorical crap as usual. "I take that as a yes." I say. Before leaving the office, I take time to look at the pink and read explosion. I grin evily. Boy will Root be surprised.

A/N: Yeah, I know it's short. But it was all I could think of. Plz review! Tell me what can be improved in future chapters! Thnx!! :)


	2. Chapter 2: SHORT! Get in here!

A/N: Uh...yeah. Here's the next installment. I'm actually making it up on the spot. No romance yet!! Plz, review in the name of humanity...or should I say faries. :)

Eva

Chapter two: Short! Get in here!

I'm sitting in my cubicle. I have my computer on. It's recieving live feed from Roots office.

I check it for the billionth time. Nothing.

When is he gonna get here already?! The one day of my life that I'm actually EARLY, and he can't !!#!#!!BE here!! I can't stand waiting a second longer. I open a new tab and pull up a chat room. Half the guys are already there. Figures.

Troublemaker says: We've been waiting 4EVER! When's he gonna show?

Wargod says: I dunno. He'd better not take the day off!!

Troll-slayer says: I'll say! After all our hard work!

Ashes2Ashes says: He never does.

Flyboy says: If we does, I'll kill myself.

Troublemaker says: I won't. I'll kill whoever's next to me.

Wargod says: LOL! :)

Girlwarrior has entered the chat room.

Girlwarrior says: Better not do that. Cuz that'd b me. BTW, Your name is wierd Scott.

Troll-slayer says: That's not true! Lots of people r called Scott!!

Girlwarrior says: Your user name stupid!

Troll-slayer says: Watch who you're calling stupid! Remember the computer incident? "How do u turn it on?" Or "What's a cheque?"

Girlwarrior says: At least I can walk and talk at the same time ape face!

Troublemaker says: Break it up u 2.

Recon.jock has entered the chat room.

Recon.jock says: Hi everyone.

Girlwarrior says: Hi Jake!!

Ashes2Ashes says: Have u seen Beetroot?

Recon.jock says: Nope. That's actually what I was gonna ask u guys.

Girlwarrior says: Hey! How far of the ground do ya think Root'll jump when he c's his office? I'll bet 20 ingots on 6 inches!

Troublemaker says: I'll raise that 2 30 ingots on a foot.

Girlwarrior says: You're SO on!!

Ashes2Ashes says: I'll bet 30 on a foot and 2 inches!

Unappriciated/genius has entered the chat room.

Unappriciated/genius says: Get out of there! He's coming in the front entrance.

I close the chat room tab and look at the view screen. Roots office is still empty. One, I count. Two, three, four...The door on the screen opens and in walks Commander Julius Root. He takes one look and jumps. Damn! Trouble wins! He looks around again and then sticks his head out the door into the hall as if checking to see if it's really his office. Then he walks in, shakily, and collapses onto a frilly pink chair. It makes an odd crunching noise and falls to pieces, depositing him on the floor. He doesn't even bother getting up.

I wince. Ash's in trouble. His sister won't be to pleased.

I glance back at the screen. Root's still sitting there, and his face looks a very unhealthy shade of purple.

In the cubicle next to mine, Trouble's having hysterics, and I'm pretty close to it myself.

On screen, Commander Roots face suddenly becomes frighteningly composed. He reaches for the intercom button. Brushing away a lace doily in the process. He presses it and his voice suddenly booms through the loudspeakers. Making me jump. "SHORT! GET IN HERE!!" "Uh oh." I say. Why does he always blame me? An innocent...uh...evil mastermind. I get up slowly from my chair. "See you in the afterlife Trouble." I say glumly. "Yeah." He says. Grabbing my hand ad solemnly shaking it. "It was nice to know you. You've been a good friend." I walk slowly. Trying to savor my last moments, like a mudman trying to enjoy his last meal before the execution. But all to soon I reach Commander Roots office. The door slides open with a soft hissing sound. "SHORT!!" He shouts. "GET IN HERE THIS...oh, ther you are." I gulp andd step over the threshold. "What is it sir?" I ask. As if I don't know.

"WHAT IN FRONDS NAME DID YOU DO TO MY D'ARVITTING OFFICE?!" He roars. "Me?" I say, assuming what I hope is an innocent expression. "Yes you!" He roars. Causing me to jump to jump yet again. "And don't play innocent with me! I know you did it!" "But commander!" I say, "How could you possibly know it was me?" He doesn't answer. Instead, he pulls out a lace doily. Embroidered on it are the words: Happy Birthday Holly. Love grandma. I hit my head with my fist. "Ouch!" (Note to self: Stop hitting your own head. It hurts.) I just learned today that I'm very VERY stupid.

"Short," Says Root. "You're in ver big trouble." Damn!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hey guys. Sorry, no story today. I just quit my choir, and I don't really feel like writing anything humorous. I feel like Holly probably did after quitting the LEP. All torn and unsure. I don't doubt I'll cry myself to sleep tonight. I did last night after I decided. So if there are any kind H/T shippers out there who wouldn't mind writing something about the aforementioned characters, I'd owe them for life!


	4. WHO DID THIS!

A/N: Okay! I'm back on my feet! Thanks to everyone for their sympathy! Special thanks to Stefanlover12 for writing Valentines 2! You can keep writing it yourself if you want! Or abandon it or whatever! Thanks again! Everyone! PLEASE REVIEW!! Thanks! :)

Eva

... "Short!" Says Root. "You are in very big trouble." Damn...

I stand with my legs squarely planted. Awaiting my immanent doom. But just as he opens his mouth, all the alert sirens go off. WEEOOOAAAA WEEOOOAAAA!! I cover my ears, almost deafened. "What the !#!&#! is going on?! Shouts Root.

"How should I know?!" I reply indignantly! Then all the lights go out. In the darkness I feel someone grab my arm! "AAAAA!!" I Scream. Shocked.

"Sshh! You wanna keep it down?" I know that voice. "Trouble!" I say. "You did all this?!"

"Me and Foaly actually." He replies, and although I can't see him, I can hear the grin in his voice. "Well, thanks anyway." I say. Grateful.

"Right," He says. "Well you can thank me later! For now we need to move!"

We run for the door, leaving Commander Root to stumble around his office. When we get out to the Captains office, I see that he's wearing his helmet with the infra red lights on. That explains the lack of bumping into walls in the dark.

He switches the infra lights off and throws the helmet at Foaly who's standing in the opposite doorway. We get a quick laugh out of watching him scramble for it. "Thanks Foaly!" I say. "You saved my life!"

"No problemo!" He replies with a sinister smile. "In fact, it was my pleasure."

"I'm sure it was," I reply, "but have you considered what I'm going to do now? Commander Root will flay me alive!"

"Already thought about it!" Says Trouble.

"Yeah." Says Foaly. "We're saying I did it!" I groan. "Al right pony boy." I say. "But if you don't make sure that everyone else under the world and their grandmother knows who really masterminded the prank, I'll sell you to a human glue factory!" He pouts, his lip sticking out almost to his chin. "Fine" He says.

I go to my cubicle intent on collapsing into my chair. I vault over the side...and land in an unrecognisable world of pink! Those bastards! They couldn't even think up their own prank! "All right! WHO DID THIS?!"


	5. Busted

Chapter 4: Busted.

..."All right! Who did this?!"...

Blank looks, and then, like the braking of a dam, everyone's laughing.

Well, except me.

Finally Trouble speaks up. "We all did! It's part of the plan to make you look innocent!" I snort. "Yeah right." I say. "You just did that to have another laugh!" They all look at each other and burst into laughter AGAIN! "Well, okay." Trouble concedes. "We MAY have just done it for the heck of it." Frond. Boys are annoying sometimes! "Well geniuses," I say, ignoring Foaly's muttered "Genii!" "I don't suppose you've actually thought of a plan as to how you're going to save me from beetroot?" Blank stares. "Because," I continue. "I doubt he'll believe that Foaly did it considering that he still has that doily." Looks of confusion.

Finally, Ash asks the obvious question: "What doily?" I roll my eyes. "The one with my name written on it." I reply. "Oh, and we're stupid?' Jake retorts. Well, he's right. Not that I'm EVER going to admit it to him.

"Least I don't need to use my laser sights to shoot the ground!" I snap. "ALRIGHT! Everyone shut the (Insert favourite swear word here) up! We need to save Holly!" Says Trouble irritably. Sounding a lot like Commander Root. Finally! Someone's thinking about the welfare of yours truly! "Okay," Says Ash, "Um...how about?...No. Then maybe?...No. That won't work either! Well..." Oh god! I think. "Ash would you shut up?!" Shouts Jake, losing his patience. "Yeah!" I say. "Wait.." Says Foaly. "I've got an idea!" He says. "What?" I ask. Desperate for anything that'll save me from my untimely demise. "Hide." Says Foaly. Grinning like someone who jut discovered the fifth element of nature. "Hide?" I say in disbelief. That's your GENIUS idea?! HIDE?!"

"So what's YOUR brilliant idea?" He challenges. "Okay! Fine!" I scream. "So where am I 'HIDING?!'"

"I haven't quite gotten to that part." Foaly admits. "But you can figure that out. Right?" Oh god. He hasn't even thought out a hiding place. Stupid genius. "SLRIGHT! WHERE'S SHORT?!" Someone shouts. Uh oh. Beetroot! "Okay!" I whisper. "Help me!" "Oh, NOW you want my help."mutters Foaly. I ignore him. I'm a bit to preoccupied to be annoyed. The thought of untimely death does that to a girl sometimes.

"SHORT! GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!!" Commander Roots voice says from somewhere nearby, breaking my trance. "Come on Holly!" Says Trouble. "I have a hiding place!" I follow him, not having a better idea myself. He leads me down a hall at breakneck speed, then stops at a door. He pushes it open. It's a broom cupboard. "Trouble!" I say. "It's a closet! It'll be the first place he looks!" He grins at me and steps in. He walks to the back of the cupboard and pushes the wall. "Trouble." I begin, "What are you.." That's as far as I get when the wall moves. It's not a wall at all. It's a door. Behind it, there's a two foot space. Two feet wide, two feet long, two feet tall, etcetera. "Welcome," Trouble says in a theatrical voice, "To the REAL cupboard. The place where many generations of rule breakers have found solace." "No." I say, backing away. "NO!" Trouble looks at me quizzically. " No what?" He asks. "I can't go in there." I whisper. "What?" He says. "I can't go in there." I repeat quietly. "Not for anything." Trouble looks at me, his face surprisingly gentle. "You're claustrophobic." He says. It's not a question, but I answer anyway. "Yeah." I say. Not looking at him. "Ever since my mum died." I feel a sob starting in my throat. Oh great. Now I'm going to cry! I look at him, and his face is so gentle that it makes my tears spill over. He hugs me gently, and I bury my face in his shirt. My head resting on his broad shoulder.

He smells nice. Sort of like dark chocolate, and sage and cedar all mixed together.

Trouble puts his hand on my face, wiping my tears away. His gaze is intense, and I can't look away.

Our faces come together. Slowly at first, and then faster. And then we're kissing. Gently at first, and then more fiercely. I can't tell how long it goes on. It feels like less then a second, while seeming to last for an eternity. It's the most amazing moment of my life! Suddenly, light floods the closet. "All right Short get..." Commander Root's words die in his throat as he takes in the scene. I look at him, slightly concerned. He looks a resplendent shade of royal blue.

"Wha-wha-what..how..why...WHAT INFRONDS NAME ARE YOU TWO DOING?!"

Busted.


	6. Holly

A/N Hey guys! Guess what? My friend Emma from choir bugged me and bugged me until I went back, and I'M IN MY CHOIR AGAIN!! :) :) :) :) :) I still don't like the song Le Train D'oeuvre! (Or how ever you spell it! I can't speak French to save my life!) Anyway, here's the next chapter! Btw, thanks again to everyone who reviewed my pathetic authors note and gave me their sympathy! And thanks to everyone who reviewed PERIOD! :) Please review this chapter too! And give me some ideas!

Chapter 6 Holly...

..."WHAT IN FRONDS NAME ARE YOU TWO DOING?!" Busted...

"Um..hi Commander Root sir!" I say. Maybe if I'm really polite...

"SHORT! KELP! GET OUT OF THERE THIS INSTANT!!"

Nope. Apparently not.

We practically run out of the closet. "See you on the other side Trouble." I mutter.

"Yeah. But considering Roots blood pressure, he'll probably follow us there." Says Trouble gloomily.

"What are you two muttering about?!" Storms Root.

Frond. This politeness thing is going to be difficult. My good manners are WASTED on people who don't appreciate them!

"Follow me!" He says. I have no choice but to follow. He leads me to his office.

"Sit down Short." He says. I sit on one of the spindly chairs that I helped carry in this morning. Was it really only half an hour ago? It feels like an eternity! And Trouble KISSED me! I shake the thoughts from my mind. Live in the moment. I look at Root, and he's not at all red. Uh oh.

"All right Short. Come with me! You're in even BIGGER trouble for running off!!"

Damn.

"You had your chance," He continues. "And you blew it. Pack your stuff. You're out."

You're out. The words become my only reality. How can this be happening? My whole life, this has been my only dream. All that kept me going. And he can just take it away. Two words and my dreams can be torn away. Doesn't he understand that without Recon, my life's not worth living for? One little prank. It's not fair!

I want to defend myself but all I can do is stare mutely at him. This isn't real. Just a nightmare, wake up. WAKE UP!

"No" I finally say weakly. "You can't do that to me."

"You had your chance" he repeats harshly. And then more gently "Sorry Short."

"One little prank?" I say faintly.

Root snorts. "Hardly one." He says. "Two hundred years as Commander, and practically every prank and practical joke has happened since YOU joined!"

Well, it's true, but STILL!

"Sir. Please don't do this to me!" I plead pitifully. "I won't do anything like your office ever again! I promise! Please don't kick me out! Recon is my LIFE!" I hear a whimpering noise. Then I realize it's me. I'm crying. Tears streaming down my face. I can't believe this! My second time today! I try to stem the flow, but they just come faster.

I look at Root again. He looks strange. Almost..Sorry?

"Short." He says. "I'm sorry. But you just aren't ready for this. Give yourself a couple years to mature. You're barely out of your teens. Recon will still be here in a few years."

"I know what this is about!" I say. "You think I'm not good to be a Recon officer because I'm a girl!"

"Holly Darkling Hope Short!" He says. Using my whole name. "Don't you EVER imply that I don't treat my officers fairly!"

I'm about to retort, but before I can think of anything, Trouble bursts into the office.

"Sir! You can't kick Holly out! I did it!" He shouts.

Yeah right. Like Root will EVER believe that. Trouble's his favourite officer in all of the LEP!

"Then why," says Root. "Was this on my desk?" He holds up the doily. Shaking it for emphasis.

"Well, I'll admit she was part of it," says Trouble. "But do you honestly think that she did it all by herself?!"

"Yeah!" I say righteously. "Could I have done it by myself?!"

"Shut the !#&#!&!! up Short!" Says Root. Displaying an incredibly colourful vocabulary.

I shut up. No point in talking. When I talk, I have a habit of getting myself in trouble. No pun intended.

"It wasn't just Holly!" Says Trouble. "It was all of us. REALLY!" He says, trying to sound convincing.

"Please sir." I say, giving up on my resolution to be silent. "Just give me a chance!"

Commander Root breathes heavily. He looks like he's having an internal war. Finally he breaths out in a whoosh.

"Very well Short." He says grudgingly. "But if you ever do ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN...!!

His sentence ends in shouting.

"Yes sir. Never again sir." I murmur.

"All right then, GET OUT!!" He screaches.

"Walk. Don't look back" says Trouble quietly.

I walk. I don't look back.

"Keep walking." He says. "Don't say anything!"

"Okay." Says Trouble. "We're safe."

He kisses me quickly on the lips. I feel dizzy. Almost falling over.

We re-enter the office.

"YOU'RE ALIVE!" Says a chorus of about five gazillion voices. Okay. More like twenty. But who's counting?

"Yep!" I say. "And tomorrow, we make Roots computer break down!"

"Holly..." Says Trouble.


End file.
